"What is a body in movement?

What if I used only one hand?
       What if I used only the rhythm in my head to guide my movement?
              What if I did not want to be in a beat cycle anymore?
                     When does a gesture begin to become meaningful?
                            What if I could stay in this discomfort just for a little longer?
                                   What if I struggled?
                                          What if I could interact with the floor?
                                                 What if there is no music?
                                                        What if I played?
                            What if I didn't worry about ‘perfection’?
                     What if I had no structure to fall back on?
                            What if I struggled?
What if I no longer wanted that natyarambham with ease?

              What if I struggled?
       What if I no longer sat with that aramandi in ease?
                                   What if I didn't?

What if I slowed down?

                            What if I alternated?

What is my impetus?
       Why is my hand moving?
                     Where is it moving?
What if I didn’t use that gesture?

                                        When does a gesture become a symbol? What if?

                     What if I struggled?

                                   What is that process churning inside?

The bursary gave me time to think of so many questions, and look for answers through embodied practice. As someone who comes from a strict discipline where lines are rarely broken, the emotions are highly stylised, and the rhythms are on point, I initially struggled to ‘let go’. Thus, the entire journey became more about letting go and transitioning to try things that my body would feel uncomfortable in. Contact with the floor, a dance without the ‘smile’, a dance without fixed rhythm, abhinayam without actual story telling, movement with no obvious directional intention, repetitive movement in varied patterns... every experiment was a journey in abstraction that humbled and made me start over. It was truly an eye-opening experience, and now I am raring to go in the direction and discover more of what my body can actually do that I never allowed it to. I am grateful to the bursary, to CoisCeim and to my two amazing mentors who gave me the space and time to ‘just dance’. The bursary has given me a lot of hope and belief in my own self, and in my dance and has re-affirmed my faith that there is so much I can do with my primary art form, and I look forward to carrying these lessons in my future work."​

- Subhashini Goda, January 2025